The Duct Tape Files
by Zeiyuki
Summary: Rating for the swaring Um yeah this is just what happens when I get bored... to put it simple Ummm Its just I cant summerize it...just read it .


Zei: Um yeah taking a break from my other fic… I have the next two chapters written out on paper but.. I'm to lazy to get my ass up and type them out. Sad huh?  
  
Yuki: That is very sad Zei. I cant believe you could be so cruel to those who have reviewed as to make them wait for god only knows how long to read the next chapter of your fic.   
  
Zei: Oh well I guess I should put warnings on my fics saying expect delays on updates after all my update schedule is kinda messed up and believe me when writers block takes over its kinda hard to write out chapters and stuff.  
  
Yuki: SO what's the point in this fic? Are you going to kill anyone?  
  
Zei: * shrugs* I don't know maybe.. you'll just have to wait and see.  
  
  
  
Kuwabara: I'm gonna die…  
  
  
  
Yuki: Shut it Kuwabara or you'll die sooner rater than later.  
  
Kuwabara: * Shutting up* Meep  
  
  
  
Zei: Wow! Go Yuki!! For once you show that you hate someone other then me.  
  
  
  
Yuki: * Sweatdrop* Whatever Zei, I hate him more than you I would love to show some fireworks up his…..  
  
Kurama: * Interrupting Yuki* Whoa! Ok Yuki maybe you should not voice your ideas quite so loudly.  
  
  
  
Yuske: *Holding Kuwabara * Yeah your scaring my poor baby.  
  
Everyone: ….  
  
Hiei: Since when is that fool yours?  
  
Yuske: Since last month when we..  
  
Zei: *covering her ears* No!! we don't want details Yuske!!! Just hearing that little bit scares the hell out of me.  
  
Yuske: What I was just going to say…  
  
  
  
Yuki: * Grabs the most handy item in the world and covers Yusukes mouth.* Duct tape, It works everytime. *Holds up duct tape * Fear the duct tape!!!!  
  
Kurama and Hiei: *Sweatdrop * Ok….  
  
Kuwabara: What was he going to say? I don't remember what happened last month.  
  
Yuske: *Now trying to crawl out of the room without being noticed.*   
  
Yuki: *pulls a rope out of nowhere * I don't think so! You are staying here.  
  
  
  
Hiei: Are you really that much of an idiot?…  
  
  
  
Kurama: Hiei don't be so mean. You know its not his fault he's a complete idiot.  
  
Hiei: Yeah your right it was his parents fault for drinking while pregnant .  
  
(Author does not recommend drinking while with child for you'll end up with sad stupid children like Kuwabara….)  
  
Zei: exactly, If people were smart enough to realize that if you drink you'll end up with dumbfucks, we'd actually have some smart people on this pitiful excuse for an earth.  
  
Kuwabara: *Sulking * She said I was born this stupid… That she didn't drink. And that the fact I was born with half a brain was normal…  
  
Zei: * Laughing* I wouldn't call half a brain normal if I was so fucked up I couldn't see straight.   
  
Yuske: * mumbling*  
  
  
  
Yuki: *Looks at Yuske.* I guess I could take the tape off if you promise not to tell us what happened.  
  
  
  
Yuske: *nods*   
  
Yuki: * Rips the tape off without warning*  
  
Yuske: *In pain* WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT THAT HURT!!!  
  
  
  
Hiei: crybaby.  
  
Yuske: That's not nice… It hurt why don't you try having tape over your mouth then have it ripped off. *Quickly slaps the duct tape over Hiei's mouth, then rips it off.*   
  
Hiei: *screams like a girl.*   
  
  
  
Everyone: *laughing at how Hiei screams like a little girl. *  
  
Hiei: Shut the hell up!!  
  
Kuwabara: Hahahahaha…. You scream like a little girl, we should get you a cute little pink frilly dress to go with the scream. Hahahahahaha…  
  
Zei: Wait A second I think I have a dress like that from when I was little. *Disappears then comes back holding a frilly pink dress. * Hmmm this should fit him just fine.  
  
  
  
Hiei: There is no way in hell you are getting me to put that on.  
  
  
  
15 minutes and three rolls of duct tape later.   
  
Yuki: Awww how cute and the bows in your hair make it look extra cute.  
  
Kurama: *Trying hard not to laugh.*   
  
Hiei: *Glares at Kurama. * Hmph! out of all the people in here I figured you wouldn't laugh at me…  
  
Kurama: Sorry love but its just to funny… You in a dress…. *is now laughing do hard tears are streaming down his face.*   
  
Hiei: *Sulks and leaves the room to pout. *  
  
Yuske: Why the hell did you call him love? That's just disturbing….  
  
  
  
Zei: Awww it looks as if someone is getting lucky off set^_^  
  
Kurama: *blushes embarrassedly.*   
  
Zei: *To Yuki * You owe me 15 dollars.  
  
Yuki: What? Why?  
  
Zei: Remember the bet was that if they were sleeping together and we found out it was true you would pay me 15 dollars.  
  
Yuki: Damn! I thought you forgot about that!  
  
Zei: Nope, So pay up.  
  
Kurama: You took bets on… You two are horrible…  
  
Yusuke: Your on candid camera!  
  
Kurama: What the hell?  
  
Yusuke: Just kidding^_^  
  
Zei: Yusuke, its not candid camera its just a crazy story.  
  
Yuki: *Runs off to hide before Zei can beat the crap out of her for the money she owes her for the bet.*   
  
Zei: Damn you yuki you owe me money that and a shitload of candy bars.  
  
Kurama: Would you two just shut up already your bets are stupid.  
  
Zei: There not as stupid as Kuwabara.  
  
Aera: Kuwabara isn't that stupid… I think… maybe… I don't know… *walks off*  
  
Yuki: and there goes Kuwabara's only fan….  
  
Zei: Sad isn't it?  
  
Kurama: I'm surprised Kuwabara had fans….wait Fan…  
  
Zei: We need a plot… SO someone needs to think of one.   
  
Yuki: Duct tape!!  
  
Everyone: -_-"  
  
Yuki: *confused* What? I thought it was a good idea.  
  
Yusuke: Duct tape is not a plot its an item.. *Mumbles* That hurts like hell when ripped off of you unexpectedly…  
  
Yuki: *Smirks* If you like We could just duct tape your hands and feet together cover your mouth and lock you in a closet like some fan girls would do to you.  
  
Kurama: Interesting…..  
  
Yusuke: gulp.. No thanks I prefer freedom…  
  
  
  
Yuki: OK now that that's settled our plot is… ahem Duct tape…   
  
Zei: *Sighs* brain damage, duct tape and OOCness…..This is going to be one fucked up fic…..  
  
---------  
  
The duct tape files: Case one; Yusuke   
  
"WHY ME!!??" kuwabara screamed as he fell down his front steps his head hitting each of the stone steps as he fell. (Zei: Not like this would cause much more damage to him…)   
  
Yusuke laughed at the sight of Kuwabara crumpled in a ball at the bottom of the stairs numerous bumps on his head, "How did you fall this time?"  
  
Mumbling* "No clue…"   
  
Yuske walked to the top of the stairs and looked over what Kuwabara possibly could have tripped over.. "Hmmm lets see, rocks, pieces of wood… Nah none of this.." Keeps looking on the porch. "Oh what's this?"  
  
Yusuke held up a roll with a thick silverish color around it.   
  
Kuwabara was now cowering in fear "Noooooooo not that anything but that!!!!"  
  
"what the fuck is it?"  
  
Dramatic drumroll…. "Its evil…. Its Duct tape!!!!!"   
  
Looks at it for a moment then shoves it at Kuwabara. "AHHHHH GET THAT AWAY FROM ME BEFORE IT ATTACKS!!!  
  
A Sweatdrop appeared on Yusuke's head. "Oh please… Like this" He held it up. "could attack anyone."  
  
"it can in the hands of its… its master…"  
  
Yuske was about to burst out laughing. "Its master? And what does he look like? A big duct tape covered idiot?"  
  
"Wah!! Don't insult her!! She'll come out!!"  
  
Now Yusuke was laughing. "Yeahhhh rightttt…."  
  
The roll of duct tape glew and A girl with dark blue and red hair and a shortened no sleeved Duct tape modified Kimono appeared. "I am Yuki of the Duct tape! How dare you Insult me!"  
  
Kuwabara started to take off running. "Nuhuh you aren't going anywhere you half brained baka." She snapped her fingers and Kuwabara was out cold.  
  
Yuske didn't believe it. "Holy shit! How screwed up are you? Your wearing duct tape…."  
  
Yuki pouted crossing her arms acting like she was about to cry. "Why does everyone always make fun of me… I'm just doing what I love… *sniff sniff*"  
  
Yuske couldn't stand a crying girl. "I'm sorry Yuki I didn't mean to say you were stupid crazy and messed up."  
  
Yuki grinned slapping the stripe of the silver duct tape over Yusukes mouth.  
  
"HAH! You fell for the crying girl routine! I cant believe it! You are almost as stupid as him." She pointed at Kuwabara who was just waking back up.  
  
Yuske grabbed the edge of the tape and tried to pull.   
  
"Did I mention this was a special super glue grade adhesive duct tape, that only I can take off."   
  
"Mmmphmphmmmffphmm" (Rough translation: Then get it the hell off of me!)  
  
"Hmm let me see…. How about no, goodbye Insulter of the Tape."  
  
----  
  
Yuske sat in Kurama's living room pouting.   
  
"A duct tape demon? You must be joking, And Yusuke pissed him off?"  
  
"Her." Kuwabara corrected  
  
"Well we could just have Hiei cut it off."  
  
Yusukes eyes widened. And he shook his head violently "Mmff!!!" (RT; NO!!!)  
  
"Just kidding Yusuke, We'll just have to find this Yuki of the Duct tape and ask her kindly to remove the tape."  
  
"Uhhhh good luck." Kuwabara said not wanting to get involved with Yuki of the tape again.   
  
"Where do you think your going?" Kurama asked.  
  
"Home, why?"  
  
"You cant you'll be the one who will call her back here to get this off of Yuske after all it is your fault its there in the first place."  
  
"NONONONO I WONT DO IT!!!!!"  
  
-----  
  
Kuwabara now stands holding the roll of duct tape.   
  
"Yuki of the Duct tape. Please come out." When the roll started to glow he dropped it and ran.   
  
Yuki rubbed her head. "Damn it you stupid fool. Didn't I tell you if you want to summon me then to NOT drop the fucking roll! It hurts me."  
  
"Gulp. Sorry Yuki."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Kurama dragging Yuske along stepped forward.   
  
"Oh you again, Come to insult me again?  
  
"No, we came here to ask you to remove the tape so he can speak again."  
  
"HAH! Yeah right don't make me laugh I'll remove the tape when his idiot friend gets a brain."  
  
Kurama shrugged. "Well Yuske it looks like your screwed."  
  
---  
  
Zei: Lesson learned don't insult Yuki and her Duct tape.  
  
Yuske: mmffph.  
  
Kurama: Yeah sorry Yuske but I don't think that tape will ever be removed. Especially if it requires Kuwabara to get a brain.  
  
Hiei: That'll never happen.  
  
Kuwabara: Hey Crossdresser's back.  
  
Hiei: *Hits Kuwabara with his sword.*   
  
Kuwabara: *Walking into walls* Look at all the pretty wittle stars…  
  
Hiei: Idiot..  
  
Yuki: Hehehhehehe Just you wait I shall have my fun all who insult the tape shall pay!!! Bwaaahahahaha!!!!  
  
Zei, Kurama, and Hiei: -_-;  
  
Zei: Ok… you are seriously freaking everyone out Yuki.  
  
Kurama: Yuki do you need mental help?  
  
Yuki: Maybe… but only if I can have the padded room.. It would be fun to bounce off the walls and not get hurt ya know.  
  
Zei: You know you need help when you have duct tape covering everything.  
  
Yuki: Do not insult the tape!  
  
Zei: *gulp* Sorry bout that it was an accident please don't do to me what you did to Yuske.  
  
Yuki: I wont.  
  
Kurama: Hiei how'd you get out of that dress?  
  
Hiei: Nevermind…  
  
Kurama: Awww come on I wanna know please….  
  
Hiei: No way!  
  
Yuki:Ok while we figure out how Hiei got out of the dress we will work on the next chapter. Later.  
  
(Just ignore my misspelling on Yusuke's name. I spell it two ways depending on what I'm thinking so sometime it'll be spelled Yusuke and sometimes it'll be spelled Yuske. Just deal with it^_^) 


End file.
